How to Leave a Church

I spent most of my high school, college and seminary years employed as a grocer at Acme Markets.  For a good while I ended many discussions with family and friends with an encouragement to “shop Acme!”  Lately, though, I consider a trip to Wegman’s an “experience” and a trip to Giant a strong “preference.”

I moved on from Acme because of proximity issues as well as the product selection, cleanliness and the “feel” of the competition.

When it comes to grocery stores I am not like my mom who would buy her meat, veg and bakery goods at different stores.  Double coupons would cause her to hyperventilate as she collected, compiled and hurried off to the store du jour.

Where and why we shop is interesting, but ultimately unimportant compared to the bigger issues of life… like the centerpiece of God’s plan for today, the local church.

Very little has been written about remediating the tendency that we, as 21^st century followers of Jesus, approach the local church like we approach the local grocery store.  

[There are many parallels… have some fun and list them!!]

I remember feeling numb when I was told a few years ago,  that 

“my needs are more important than the ministry or mission of the church.”  I felt numb as I realized he was not speaking for himself as much as he was verbalizing the mindset of a generation.

I believe there are two reasons to leave a church.

1- Doctrinal drifting...

2- A consistent abdication of leadership...

I will not take time to illustrate or develop these two points, but we should move slowly if we are planning on leaving a church for reasons other than doctrinal drifting and a consistent abdication of leadership by Pastors and the Leadership Team.

If you are considering leaving your local church, please commit to the following process:

1- Recognize and respond to the first thought of moving on to another local church.  The minute the thought enters your mind or becomes a topic of conversation on the way home from church, address it! Make the time for serious self-reflection and prayer on the topic of leaving your church a priority.

2- Seek out a perspective from someone outside your circle of influence.  This is important and counterintuitive.  Most often we seek out those who agree with everything we say or think.  This practice is always dangerous, but important matters demand a diverse perspective.

3- Speak to a member of the official leadership team.  Speaking to an Elder or Associate Pastor provides them with vital feedback about church life. Speaking to them early in the process allows God to use your comments and concerns to help the leaders address a blind spot or developing trend and provides you with a perspective, context or information which may be an answer to your observations.

4- Formally communicate with the Senior Pastor about your concerns before a decision is reached.  This step is rarely followed and is more important than you may think.  The relationship with a pastor and a member of a church family is NOT the same as the relationship between a doctor and a patient or a clerk and a customer.  Our relationships are polite, professional, cordial, and personal!!!

5- Officially withdraw your membership and fully invest yourself in your new church.  If the above four steps are followed the transition from one church to another can be relatively seamless.  Resist the strong tendency to hold on to the few things you appreciate in your former church and begin “shop” like my Mom! You can more fully exalt the name of Jesus and add value to the new church home by becoming part of what God is doing there.

The “rotation of the saints” is not a healthy trend and ultimately will serve neither the individual or the congregation.   May the local church be strengthened and may God’s name be exalted in our lives.

The Supreme Court and Same Sex Marriage

Why do we love other people’s sin?

Just a few minutes ago the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage.  For folks who have been paying attention, the ruling is not surprising.  In just a few minutes, issue based prophets will be railing about the real and impending consequences for our churches, our country and the world.

As I await a wild weekend or political discourse I am both amused and alarmed at our fascination with other people’s sin. 

Why is it that the actions of less than 2% of the population causes the local church to clench their collective fists and shake their balding heads with disgust and alarm?

One reason, perhaps, is that our love of other people’s sin diverts our attention from our own sin.

Imagine if the local church in America was as disgusted and alarmed by the fact that less than 3% of followers of Jesus give sacrificially to their local church or nonprofit organizations. 

Imagine if the local church in America was as disgusted and alarmed by the fact that here is no statistical difference between the “sex lives” of unmarried  secular people and unmarried followers of Jesus.

Imagine if the local church in America was as vocal about the plague of pornography, a silent killer, which is unlike anything the church has ever experienced.

A plague, which is robbing the spiritual strength of countless men and women who will fill the pews this Sunday. Folks who will, no doubt, call for prayer for our country in light of the “godless decision of the Supreme Court.”

A plague, which is the root cause of the trend of young men choosing to delay or avoid a relationship with women that will lead to marriage.

My prayer is for the local church to funnel its concern for the moral condition of our country into a season of personal reflection, which leads to repentance.

My prayer is for the local church to funnel its concern for the moral condition of our country into an action plan that begins with a commitment of our lives to personal holiness, self-discipline and simplicity.

My prayer is for the local church to funnel its concern for the moral condition of our country into a sobering realization that most, if not all, of the “sinners” around us have never heard a meaningful and personal presentation of the temporal and eternal blessings associated with walking with Jesus in faith.

The fact is, we love other people’s sin because it allows us to never have time to focus and address our own personal sin.  Apart from the promises in God’s Word about His faithfulness, His plan and His purposes, I would be very pessimistic. 

Let us pray the historic decision of the Supreme Court on Friday, June 25^th 2015 will be the day the local church in America humbles themselves, repents and rises up to be the force we have been called to be.