I bet you never realized how much in common Pastors have
with Bo Derek.
In 1979 Bo Derek was considered to be the most beautiful woman
in the world. She was the “10” and the
focal point in the hit movie, ”10.”
I never saw the movie, but I can still see her in my mind’s
eye running down the beach with her braided hair and beige, one piece bathing
suit.
I am able to put Pastors and Bo Derek in the same sentence because of something I heard during an
interview while she was promoting the movie.
It was a Jay Leno type show and another comedian was sitting in on the
segment. Tipping his head toward Bo
Derek, he said, “you know, somebody is going to get tired of that.”
On one level I consider the quote to be misogynistic, sexist
and a highly offensive statement. One
another level, I find myself saying, with a wink and a smile, “me and Bo have
so much in common.”
One of the most troubling comments a Pastor, Bible Teacher
or Small Group leader will hear in the course of a ministry is the claim
"I am not being fed."
Of all the emotional triggers to insecurity I have
experienced in my life, nothing has driven me to a thumb sucking, fetal
position more often then the statement, "I'm not being fed." (Just kidding
about the thumb sucking!)
Most men and women on the receiving end of an "I am not
being fed" discussion quickly move from a defensive place to a purposeful
place of resolve to do a better job. I
count myself as part of “most men and women…”
But after 20 years in the pastorate, with a degree of
confidence, maturity and experience, I have come to understand that by simply
resolving to do a better job, I have missed the opportunity to ask a probing
question, “is it possible that a person’s “not being fed” status is a symptom
of a problem more than the problem?”
In hindsight, I believe my default position of moving from a
defensive to a reflective position when I hear the “I’m not being fed “charge
has not served anyone well.
Recently though, I have continued to use painful, “I’m not being
fed,“ talks as a motivation to work harder as a communicator.
But, I have smiled to myself, and said, “if someone is going
to get tired of Bo Derek, can I expect anything less!”
I have pivoted from my silly Bo Derek parallel, to a few
probing questions and points I have directed to my “starving” friend.
First of all, I have gently inquired about the existence and
quality of personal time with God in prayer and in Bible reading.
Secondly, I have asked my friend to do a brief inventory of
their current walk and relationship with God.
I try to help them determine if the Sunday sermon or weekly Bible Study
is the weak point in an otherwise strong walk and relationship with God.
Lastly, I have gotten very personal and transparent. I tell a sad story of my unwillingness and
inability to hear anything profitable from a few nationally known Pastors I
listen to. I attribute my inability to
hear anything profitable to an attitude problem I have.
I also share an amazing story of how much I get out of a
sermon or Bible study when I determine ahead of time that I want to meet God in
a special way in this context.
With a degree of embarrassment, I share how my season of greatest spiritual growth came while at sat under the sound teaching a Pastor I rarely understood. But, I was never better "fed." I was being fed by a community of like minded friends who were committed to impacting our worlds with the life changing gospel message. I was being fed as I read and believed God's Word, the Bible. I was being fed as I stepped out in faith to give, serve and share the gospel to the best of my ability. I was never better fed!!!
When the sexist and misogynistic comedian quipped that
someone is going to get tired of Bo Derek, he was not saying that Bo would
suddenly be demoted from a “10” to a “3.” He was acknowledging the fickleness
of man.
A brief survey of the Scriptures and the history of God’s
work in the world, testify to the life changing power of the Word of God in the
lives of people who are hungry to hear what God has to say.
That same survey of the Scriptures and the history of God’s
work testify of men like the Apostle Paul and the evangelist D. L. Moody who
were both mocked and despised because of their lack of eloquence and, at the same time, heralded
as men who boldly proclaimed God’s word to all who were willing to hear.
It is good to know that I have more in common with Bo Derek than great hair!!!
Romans 8:5 Those who live according to the flesh have their
minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the
Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
