I
spent most of my high school, college and seminary years employed as a grocer
at Acme Markets. For a good while I
ended many discussions with family and friends with an encouragement to “shop
Acme!” Lately, though, I consider a trip
to Wegman’s an “experience” and a trip to Giant a strong “preference.”
I
moved on from Acme because of proximity issues as well as the product selection,
cleanliness and the “feel” of the competition.
When
it comes to grocery stores I am not like my mom who would buy her meat, veg and
bakery goods at different stores. Double
coupons would cause her to hyperventilate as she collected, compiled and
hurried off to the store du jour.
Where
and why we shop is interesting, but ultimately unimportant compared to the
bigger issues of life… like the centerpiece of God’s plan for today, the
local church.
Very
little has been written about remediating the tendency that we, as 21st
century followers of Jesus, approach the local church like we approach
the local grocery store.
[There are many
parallels… have some fun and list them!!]
I
remember feeling numb when I was told a few years ago, that
“my needs are more important than the
ministry or mission of the church.” I
felt numb as I realized he was not speaking for himself as much as he was
verbalizing the mindset of a generation.
I believe there are two
reasons to leave a church.
1-
Doctrinal drifting...
2-
A consistent abdication of leadership...
I
will not take time to illustrate or develop these two points, but we should
move slowly if we are planning on leaving a church for reasons other than
doctrinal drifting and a consistent abdication of leadership by Pastors and the Leadership Team.
If
you are considering leaving your local church, please commit to the following
process:
1- Recognize and respond to
the first thought of moving on to another local church. The minute the thought enters your mind or becomes
a topic of conversation on the way home from church, address it! Make the time
for serious self-reflection and prayer on the topic of leaving your church a
priority.
2- Seek out a perspective from
someone outside your circle of influence. This is important and counterintuitive. Most often we seek out those who agree with
everything we say or think. This
practice is always dangerous, but important matters demand a diverse
perspective.
3- Speak to a member of the official
leadership team. Speaking to an Elder or Associate Pastor
provides them with vital feedback about church life. Speaking to them early in
the process allows God to use your comments and concerns to help the leaders
address a blind spot or developing trend and provides you with a perspective,
context or information which may be an answer to your observations.
4- Formally communicate with
the Senior Pastor about your concerns before a decision is reached. This step is rarely followed and is more important
than you may think. The relationship
with a pastor and a member of a church family is NOT the same as the relationship
between a doctor and a patient or a clerk and a customer. Our relationships are polite, professional, cordial,
and personal!!!
5- Officially withdraw your
membership and fully invest yourself in your new church. If the
above four steps are followed the transition from one church to another can be
relatively seamless. Resist the strong
tendency to hold on to the few things you appreciate in your former church and begin
“shop” like my Mom! You can more fully exalt the name of Jesus and add value to
the new church home by becoming part of what God is doing there.
The
“rotation of the saints” is not a healthy trend and ultimately will serve
neither the individual or the congregation.
May the local church be strengthened and may God’s name be exalted in
our lives.
