How to Leave a Church

I spent most of my high school, college and seminary years employed as a grocer at Acme Markets.  For a good while I ended many discussions with family and friends with an encouragement to “shop Acme!”  Lately, though, I consider a trip to Wegman’s an “experience” and a trip to Giant a strong “preference.”

I moved on from Acme because of proximity issues as well as the product selection, cleanliness and the “feel” of the competition.

When it comes to grocery stores I am not like my mom who would buy her meat, veg and bakery goods at different stores.  Double coupons would cause her to hyperventilate as she collected, compiled and hurried off to the store du jour.

Where and why we shop is interesting, but ultimately unimportant compared to the bigger issues of life… like the centerpiece of God’s plan for today, the local church.

Very little has been written about remediating the tendency that we, as 21^st century followers of Jesus, approach the local church like we approach the local grocery store.  

[There are many parallels… have some fun and list them!!]

I remember feeling numb when I was told a few years ago,  that 

“my needs are more important than the ministry or mission of the church.”  I felt numb as I realized he was not speaking for himself as much as he was verbalizing the mindset of a generation.

I believe there are two reasons to leave a church.

1- Doctrinal drifting...

2- A consistent abdication of leadership...

I will not take time to illustrate or develop these two points, but we should move slowly if we are planning on leaving a church for reasons other than doctrinal drifting and a consistent abdication of leadership by Pastors and the Leadership Team.

If you are considering leaving your local church, please commit to the following process:

1- Recognize and respond to the first thought of moving on to another local church.  The minute the thought enters your mind or becomes a topic of conversation on the way home from church, address it! Make the time for serious self-reflection and prayer on the topic of leaving your church a priority.

2- Seek out a perspective from someone outside your circle of influence.  This is important and counterintuitive.  Most often we seek out those who agree with everything we say or think.  This practice is always dangerous, but important matters demand a diverse perspective.

3- Speak to a member of the official leadership team.  Speaking to an Elder or Associate Pastor provides them with vital feedback about church life. Speaking to them early in the process allows God to use your comments and concerns to help the leaders address a blind spot or developing trend and provides you with a perspective, context or information which may be an answer to your observations.

4- Formally communicate with the Senior Pastor about your concerns before a decision is reached.  This step is rarely followed and is more important than you may think.  The relationship with a pastor and a member of a church family is NOT the same as the relationship between a doctor and a patient or a clerk and a customer.  Our relationships are polite, professional, cordial, and personal!!!

5- Officially withdraw your membership and fully invest yourself in your new church.  If the above four steps are followed the transition from one church to another can be relatively seamless.  Resist the strong tendency to hold on to the few things you appreciate in your former church and begin “shop” like my Mom! You can more fully exalt the name of Jesus and add value to the new church home by becoming part of what God is doing there.

The “rotation of the saints” is not a healthy trend and ultimately will serve neither the individual or the congregation.   May the local church be strengthened and may God’s name be exalted in our lives.

The Supreme Court and Same Sex Marriage

Why do we love other people’s sin?

Just a few minutes ago the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage.  For folks who have been paying attention, the ruling is not surprising.  In just a few minutes, issue based prophets will be railing about the real and impending consequences for our churches, our country and the world.

As I await a wild weekend or political discourse I am both amused and alarmed at our fascination with other people’s sin. 

Why is it that the actions of less than 2% of the population causes the local church to clench their collective fists and shake their balding heads with disgust and alarm?

One reason, perhaps, is that our love of other people’s sin diverts our attention from our own sin.

Imagine if the local church in America was as disgusted and alarmed by the fact that less than 3% of followers of Jesus give sacrificially to their local church or nonprofit organizations. 

Imagine if the local church in America was as disgusted and alarmed by the fact that here is no statistical difference between the “sex lives” of unmarried  secular people and unmarried followers of Jesus.

Imagine if the local church in America was as vocal about the plague of pornography, a silent killer, which is unlike anything the church has ever experienced.

A plague, which is robbing the spiritual strength of countless men and women who will fill the pews this Sunday. Folks who will, no doubt, call for prayer for our country in light of the “godless decision of the Supreme Court.”

A plague, which is the root cause of the trend of young men choosing to delay or avoid a relationship with women that will lead to marriage.

My prayer is for the local church to funnel its concern for the moral condition of our country into a season of personal reflection, which leads to repentance.

My prayer is for the local church to funnel its concern for the moral condition of our country into an action plan that begins with a commitment of our lives to personal holiness, self-discipline and simplicity.

My prayer is for the local church to funnel its concern for the moral condition of our country into a sobering realization that most, if not all, of the “sinners” around us have never heard a meaningful and personal presentation of the temporal and eternal blessings associated with walking with Jesus in faith.

The fact is, we love other people’s sin because it allows us to never have time to focus and address our own personal sin.  Apart from the promises in God’s Word about His faithfulness, His plan and His purposes, I would be very pessimistic. 

Let us pray the historic decision of the Supreme Court on Friday, June 25^th 2015 will be the day the local church in America humbles themselves, repents and rises up to be the force we have been called to be.

What do Ducky and Phil, from Duck Dynasty, have in common?

 

Question... What do Ducky and Phil, from Duck Dynasty, have in common?  

Answer...  They both speak to dead people.  

Let's me explain.  Fans of NCIS know that Ducky, the Forensic Scientist tasked with determining the cause of death in the latest victim, is known to speak to the bodies he is examining.  (It sounds creepy, but, somehow, it is quite endearing.)

Phil, from Duck Dynasty, represents a host of people who speak about lifestyle issues to people the Apostle Paul describes as spiritually dead. (in this case, as the fallout from the recent GQ I article shows, it is quite creepy and far from endearing.)

For the record, I never watched Duck Dynasty. I am not concerned about A&E’s decision to suspend Phil.  I do not write to affirm or distance myself from Phil’s crude comments about homosexuality and the “improved” status of minorities in America.  I am writing about talking to the dead.

Take a few minutes to read a portion of Paul's letter to the Ephesians, specifically chapter 2, verses 1-10.

Paul is writing to followers of Jesus living in the thriving city of Ephesus.  In Chapter 2, Paul reviews their spiritual journey.  He begins by saying, "as for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins..." Even without context, it is easy to understand that the readers of Paul's letter were quite alive and well.  Paul reminded his readers that they were spiritually dead, prior to coming to faith in Jesus.  

This current debacle provides at least two lessons for followers of Jesus. 

1- You don't always have to take a side.  In situations like this, we instantly fall in line between party or position A or B. There is usually an aggressor and a victim.  In this case there is a corporate powerhouse and Phil, the cartoonish character of Duck Dynasty.  If we take sides in the debacle de jour, we put ourselves in a position to defend “our guy.”  Sometimes we should take three steps back and wait until the “circus” leaves town!

2- We are to call people to a personal faith in Jesus. We are not to call the spiritually “dead” to lifestyle choices.  Speaking to followers of Jesus in the city of Corinth, the Apostle Paul said, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?” 1Cor. 5:12

Ducky, the NCIS’s Forensic Scientist, would never exhort his cold, stiff, corpse to get up and dance.  Why, because it is impossible for a dead man to dance!

In the same way, Jesus, the Apostles and the Prophets never called a person to a lifestyle change.  They called people to a personal faith, a new birth, in which we are made spiritually alive. They called people to a personal faith in which the Holy Spirit of God indwells a person giving them a new heart, a new mind and new desires.

SO, let the followers of Jesus be wise.  Let us “preach” faith in Christ, alone.

My Problem with Time Magazine’s 2013 Person of the Year, Pope Francis

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The annual tease is over.  The short list for Time Magazine’s Person of the year told us more about marketing than it did about serious journalism.  A list that included Presidents Assad and Obama, Jeff Bezos, Miley Cyrus, Pope Francis, Ted Cruz, Katherine Sebelus and Edward Snowden was a recipe for free publicity and spirited discourse.  Personally, I enjoy the build up leading up to the announcement, but this year I have a problem with the choice of Pope Francis as the Person of the Year.

Using most metrics, Edward Snowden and Pope Francis have impacted their worlds in ways that will reverberate well beyond 2013.  Snowden’s leaking of classified NSA documents has shaken world powers almost as much as Pope Francis’s simple life and conciliatory comments have shaken the religious establishment in the Vatican and beyond. 

I am a "recovering Catholic"

Before I explain why I have a have a problem with the choice of Pope Francis as the Person of the Year, I have to reveal that I am a “Recovering Catholic,” serving as the Pastor of Grace Chapel, an independent, non-denominational church in suburban Philadelphia. I came to faith as a university student after reading the Gospels and Epistles.  [A topic for another day!]

For the record, my experience with the church down the street did not scar me in any sense of the word.  It has been over 40 plus since I served as an altar boy, but  I still remember the humble and devout nature of Fathers Getz, Grimes and Sherman. 

As I read the Prophets in the Old Testament, the Gospels and the writings of the Apostles, I learned that humility and devotion do not make a person right with God.  In Ephesians chapter 2, the Apostle Paul said, we are made right or reconciled with God, in a way which is completely undeserved, as we place our full trust, confidence and faith, NOT in our relative righteousness, but in the substitutionary death of Jesus.   Jesus paid our debt… He cured our disease... He built a bridge to the Father.  Pick a metaphor explaining a right relationship with God that does not include a church or denomination or our good deeds and we move beyond symbolism towards substance.

"My problem is with Evangelicals"

My problem is not with Time’s selection of Pope Francis as the Person of the Year.  The choice will generate record sales and much discussion!  My problem is with how we as Evangelical Christians will respond to the selection. 

In the days leading up to Time’s announcement, I listened to a sermon by a young Evangelical Pastor. Early in this Advent message, the Pastor said, “I am a great fan of this new Pope.” This is one of many illustrations of similar comments which have recently filled blogs, Facebook posts and tweets.  We must remember and be careful to communicate that the root of Christianity is not morality. The root of Christianity is faith in the substitutionary death of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

My problem, or rather concern, is that Evangelicals have not developed the ability to acknowledge Pope Francis’s symbolic words or actions and, at the same time, distance ourselves from Roman Catholic traditions and Canon Law which are contrary to the teachings of Jesus and the writings of the New Testament authors, Peter, Paul, James, John and Luke.

"Good people do not go to Heaven."

It is truly refreshing and very rare, to hear any leader call for a simple life and model compassion and empathy.  But we, as Evangelicals must realize that “good people” do not go to heaven.  When the Apostle Paul met Jesus, he may have been the most religious person around. But Paul came to understand and teach, that our relative goodness can never make us right in God’s eyes.  The Apostle said, we are saved by grace, through faith and not by works. (Eph 2:8-9)

In my mind, Pope Francis will be the Man of the Year when he says, “I do not live the way I do to earn God’s favor or to help pay for my sins.  I live the way I do in response to God’s grace and mercy, which saved my soul.” Pope Francis may be this generation’s most religious person, but he will not be right in God’s eyes until his faith and confidence is in Christ alone. 

Pope Francis is walking on a "tightrope."

In the article announcing the selection of Pope Francis as the Person of the Year, the author said, “… in less than a year, he has done something remarkable: he has not changed the words, but he’s changed the music. Tone and temperament matter…”

The article speaks about the tightrope the Pope is walking.  For every statement like “who am I to judge” he reminds listeners that he is a “child of the Church.”  To every diplomatic, non answer to questions about celibacy, birth control, the rights of gays and the divorced to receive the sacraments and the potential of women priests, his Jesuit, defender of the faith” background is flashed.

So, let us acknowledge the Person of the Year.  But let us pray for wisdom and boldness to use this story as an opportunity to share the good news with people who wrongly believe that entry to heaven is gained by living a life of devotion, simplicity and empathy.

Lance Armstrong and Followers of Jesus, drafting and drifting

My family and I lived in Ireland for eight years.  During our time in Ballincollig, Co. Cork, I became a fan of cycling.  At the time, two Irish guys, Sean Kelly and Stephen Roche were among the world’s best.  They were national heroes.

As an American living in Ireland I was able to enjoy the Irish success and, at the same time, celebrate the rise of three-time Tour DeFrance winner, Greg LeMond.  In time, LeMond’s fame was overshadowed by Lance Armstrong.

I loved the sport of cycling.  I admired the grueling physical nature of the sport. In time, I came to understand there was strategy used by the various teams.   I came to appreciate the importance of teamwork, role players with different areas of expertise.  Some of the guys excelled in the mountains.  Others were sprinters.  Some even were on the team to play defense, to protect the star, who excelled in the mountains and during the sprint.  With the retirement of Greg LeMond, Lance Armstrong became a household name around the world.  Unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons, Lance Armstrong is still a household name. 

I was recently thinking of the parallels between winning, the right way, as a cyclist and as a Follower of Jesus.

Winning cyclists understand the value of hard work, self-discipline and aerodynamics.  Huh... aerodynamics, YES!  In cycling,  [or car racing, and speed skating,] “Drafting” is a technique where, at least two, moving objects fall in line to reduce the overall effect of wind resistance or “drag.” Riding alone is a sure recipe for failure. 

The same is true for the follower of Jesus.  The resistance we face is the strong wind of conventional wisdom, peer pressure or anything which contradicts the teachings of Jesus and the Apostles.

The Apostle Paul never speaks about “drafting,” in the cyclist sense of the word, but he continually calls us to live life in community. A dozen or so times in the New Testament, the “one anothers,” serve as the biblical equivalent to drafting. 

In both cycling and Walking with Jesus, “riding alone” always leads to drifting.  In Hebrews 2:1 the writer encourages us to “pay more careful attention… to what we have heard. “  He is speaking about the writings in the Old Testament, the Gospels and the Epistles.  The words literally mean, “hold in your mind.”

We “hold” the teachings of Jesus and the Apostles in our mind to the extent we know and apply the Scriptures to the details of our day to day life.

The verse [Hebrews 2:1] begins with a good idea and ends with a strong reminder that we will “drift away” if we neglect or ignore “what we have heard.”

The word drift describes a slow, almost invisible, process where we eventually abandon a person, position or perspective.

In Lance Armstrong we have a painful example of what “drifting” looks like in his professional life.  The landscape is littered with casualties of his drifting.

My prayer for us is that we face the resistance of the world, as we know it, by “drafting,” in a community of “one anothers.”   Victory in this race is a reasonable goal for every follow of Jesus.

Bo Derek and Pastors, so much in common!

I bet you never realized how much in common Pastors have with Bo Derek.

In 1979 Bo Derek was considered to be the most beautiful woman in the world.  She was the “10” and the focal point in the hit movie, ”10.”

I never saw the movie, but I can still see her in my mind’s eye running down the beach with her braided hair and beige, one piece bathing suit.

I am able to put Pastors and Bo Derek in the same sentence  because of something I heard during an interview while she was promoting the movie.  It was a Jay Leno type show and another comedian was sitting in on the segment.  Tipping his head toward Bo Derek, he said, “you know, somebody is going to get tired of that.”

On one level I consider the quote to be misogynistic, sexist and a highly offensive statement.  One another level, I find myself saying, with a wink and a smile, “me and Bo have so much in common.”

One of the most troubling comments a Pastor, Bible Teacher or Small Group leader will hear in the course of a ministry is the claim "I am not being fed."

Of all the emotional triggers to insecurity I have experienced in my life, nothing has driven me to a thumb sucking, fetal position more often then the statement, "I'm not being fed." (Just kidding about the thumb sucking!)

Most men and women on the receiving end of an "I am not being fed" discussion quickly move from a defensive place to a purposeful place of resolve to do a better job.  I count myself as part of “most men and women…”

But after 20 years in the pastorate, with a degree of confidence, maturity and experience, I have come to understand that by simply resolving to do a better job, I have missed the opportunity to ask a probing question, “is it possible that a person’s “not being fed” status is a symptom of a problem more than the problem?”

In hindsight, I believe my default position of moving from a defensive to a reflective position when I hear the “I’m not being fed “charge has not served anyone well.

Recently though, I have continued to use painful, “I’m not being fed,“ talks as a motivation to work harder as a communicator.

But, I have smiled to myself, and said, “if someone is going to get tired of Bo Derek, can I expect anything less!”

I have pivoted from my silly Bo Derek parallel, to a few probing questions and points I have directed to my “starving” friend.

First of all, I have gently inquired about the existence and quality of personal time with God in prayer and in Bible reading.

Secondly, I have asked my friend to do a brief inventory of their current walk and relationship with God.  I try to help them determine if the Sunday sermon or weekly Bible Study is the weak point in an otherwise strong walk and relationship with God.

Lastly, I have gotten very personal and transparent.  I tell a sad story of my unwillingness and inability to hear anything profitable from a few nationally known Pastors I listen to.  I attribute my inability to hear anything profitable to an attitude problem I have. 

I also share an amazing story of how much I get out of a sermon or Bible study when I determine ahead of time that I want to meet God in a special way in this context. 

With a degree of embarrassment, I share how my season of greatest spiritual growth came while at sat under the sound teaching a Pastor I rarely understood. But, I was never better "fed."  I was being fed by a community of like minded friends who were committed to impacting our worlds with the life changing gospel message.  I was being fed as I read and believed God's Word, the Bible.  I was being fed as I stepped out in faith to give, serve and share the gospel to the best of my ability.  I was never better fed!!!

When the sexist and misogynistic comedian quipped that someone is going to get tired of Bo Derek, he was not saying that Bo would suddenly be demoted from a “10” to a “3.” He was acknowledging the fickleness of man.

A brief survey of the Scriptures and the history of God’s work in the world, testify to the life changing power of the Word of God in the lives of people who are hungry to hear what God has to say.

That same survey of the Scriptures and the history of God’s work testify of men like the Apostle Paul and the evangelist D. L. Moody who were both mocked and despised because of their lack of eloquence and, at the same time, heralded as men who boldly proclaimed God’s word to all who were willing to hear.

 It is good to know that I have more in common with Bo Derek than great hair!!!

Romans 8:5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

The Bible and future judgments

I recently brought up the topic of giving an account of our lives to God in the context of James 3:1, where James said, those who teach will be “judged more strictly.”

The chapter deals with taming the tongue and two kinds of wisdom, but 3:1 provides opportunity to focus, for a moment, on what the Bible says about future judgment.

There are two judgments of human beings included in the end times narrative. We read about the first, “great white throne judgment” in Rev 20:11-12, where John wrote:

“Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.” Rev. 20:11-12

This judgment is for the multitude of mankind, who lived from the time of Adam until the last day, who rejected the free gift of salvation through faith in what Jesus did on the cross.

In Rev 20:12 we see this judgment is based on “...what they had done...”

In other words, mankind is given the option of one day standing before God and being judged on the basis of our own worthiness, or as the Bible says, on the basis of our own righteousness.

We also have the option of being judged on the basis of Christ’s righteousness, which is “imputed,” credited or given to us when we believe the gospel.

With this imputed righteousness of Christ comes the promise found in Psalm 103:12, "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

A reader of the Bible understands that peace with God and an adoption into the family of God results when we come to understand the folly and unfruitfulness of planning to stand before God on the basis of our own righteousness.

In Romans 8:1 the Apostle Paul says there is “no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.”

There is, though, a second judgment, the “judgment seat of Christ,” which we read about in 2Cor. 5:10:

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”

The “judgment seat of Christ” does not address the guilt and consequences of sin. It is a future occasion for followers of Jesus to review, in the presence of God, how we lived our Christian lives. This will include: how we use the things the Lord has blessed us with to bless others and how we use our lives to serve Him.

In Romans 14:10, Paul combines the rebuke of Christians who were judging one another, with a reminder that one day “we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.”

The personal penalty of all sin is removed when a person places their faith in Christ’s death on the cross. The power of sin is “removed” as a follower of Jesus submits himself to the power and influence of the Holy Spirit.

In 1 Cor 3:10-15, Paul uses the illustration of raw materials as a metaphor for how we “build our lives.” The contrast between gold, silver, costly stones and wood, hay or straw, is easy to understand.

The goal of both the white throne judgment and the judgment seat of Christ is the same, the glory of God. Our great God will be glorified as unbelievers at the white throne judgment finally come to understand the powerlessness of self righteousness and the indescribable power of the righteousness of Christ. On the other hand, our great God will be glorified as believers review their Christian lives at the Judgment seat of Christ.

There are rewards or “crowns” connected with the Judgment seat of Christ. I like to use the illustration of a graduation to explain the purpose and rewards connected to the Judgment seat of Christ. Those in a graduating class have been approved by the Dean of Student affairs. There are some in the graduating class who graduate with honors, as their educational careers are reviewed, but all graduate.

This illustration breaks down when we consider the purpose of the rewards. On the human plane, the graduate with honors receives the glory and applause. On the spiritual plane, the Lord Jesus Christ receives the glory and “applause” as the rewards or crowns are laid at His feet.

I trust these verses and the judgments connected to these verses provide the motivation to share the good news with those who still believe in their ability to stand before God and give an account based on their own righteousness.

I trust these verses and the judgments connected to these verses provide the motivation for Christians to walk with anxious expectation of the day we can see our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and review all we have accomplished for Him by His power!